What If Jesus Came To Branson - Opinion/Editorial
Branson Mayor Reaanne Presley would charge $36 for Jesus to hear praises at the Presley Theater.
Larry Milton would offer a discount to the Presley Theater Jesus Celebration if Jesus went on a time-share tour through his personal time-share booking sites Branson.com and the Branson Tourism Center.
Captain Ron Keyes would call the Salvation Army General to see if it was ok to clothe him.
Branson Police Chief Carroll McCollough would arrest Jesus for turning water into wine on private property at the Branson Landing - then go home and drink the wine.
Gary Groman would write an article that it was all HCW's fault that Jesus was arrested for building the Branson Landing.
After Branson City Council found out that Jesus had arrived.
Raeanne Presley would issue a formal statement stating her money laundering operation "The Branson Chamber of Commerce" did such a great job marketing that Jesus decided to come.
The Branson Chamber of Commerce would then take the laundered money and build a giant statue of Presley at a cost of $20,000 at tax payer's expense to honor the Mayor that served while Jesus went to Branson.
Prepared by: Darin Codon